"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” ~Marcus Aurelius

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Time To Get Serious

I have been too comfortable lately. All those motivation that I had last summer to keep in shape just vanished .Winter came & along with it brought me extreme laziness and a total lost of focus with my fitness goals. It's hard for me to believe that just last October I was so into working out & eating healthy. I was working out everyday sometime for 2 hours or more. I was watching my calorie intake & making sure that I didn't go over my limit of 1200 cal/day.

I know I wasn't eating like crazy but the absence of physical activities & being cooped at home all winter are the reasons why I can't fit into my petite size4 jeans anymore. August of last year I could even squeezed in size 2 . It may not seems that much if you look at the numbers , 1-2 size bigger...but for my height , it is VERY BIG of a difference.

Memorial Day weekend & those ubiquitous ads about sales & discounts at the malls lured me into braving the flood of shoppers trying to get good finds & bargains. Husband being supportive (or maybe he's also thinking of the discounts ) he went w/ me & watched Shinjo while Princess & me went elbow-to-elbow w/ hundreds of women's at two of my favorite store White House Black Market and Calvin Klein . I really thought it's gonna be a fun shopping experience but turned out the exact opposite. I was trying on a nice shirt & pants but I was so out of shape I nearly cried because it felt like I was looking at a different person in the mirror. That wasn't me.....I used to look good w/ this kind of outfit :( Frustrated ,disappointed & devastated...I stormed out of the store empty handed. Grant couldn't believe his eyes . He wasn't quite sure whether to feel bad thinking he didn't give me enough time or to be glad knowing I didn't spend a single penny that day. I was heart broken...."What did I do to myself?" " Why did I let myself go?".....but of course I already know the answers to that .

So today , I begin. I want my old self back & 'Dagnammit I'm getting it.I begin w/ a more realistic goal & a better open mind.No more diet pills or crash diets. Just good old fashioned healthy & balanced mind & body.I don't want to be super skinny like Lindsey Lohan.. I just want to see myself in the mirror & feel good again. To look good again wearing my favorite clothes.

May 29,2007 I weigh in at 130 ( gosh I've never gone this heavy before ...not when I am not pregnant)Back to counting calories but not to the point of starving myself. I need the energy to play w/ my kids. Back to working out even at least 45 mins a day and since summer is here maybe I will add a little bit of outdoor activities.

Every week I will post my progress. Hopefully this will help me get more motivated to continue & not procrastinate.
To be fit & feel good again ...that's my goal & my gift to myself.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

True Joy & Happiness

Feeling a little blue ……It must be that time of the month….but no…not till next week…maybe just a little tired. It’s Wednesday and I’m already longing for the weekend. I guess I’ve been pretty much productive this week so I gave myself a little treat….2 scoops of ice cream ..ahhh…..that does the trick. Then watched my recorded episode of HOUSE MD ( thanks to DVR…such a life saver. Now I don’t have to miss any episode of my favorite shows)…Kids were watching cartoon show in their room so I had the living room all to myself . Didn’t have to worry if there are obscene dialogue that the kids might hear…you know how they are now….so quick to pick up new vocabulary esp Shinjo. He is at the stage were he is starting to discover the vast universe of language . One day while his teacher was saying goodbye to him , he was so distracted w/ something else so I prompted him so say goodbye back & I swear I almost fell to the floor when I though I heard him say “ What the f^*@!!! “ We all thought we heard the same thing & I was so embarrassed but I didn’t realize that the teacher & I share the same feeling & he immediately said “ Oh I’m sure he didn’t hear that from us”. But I know my son & we never curse in front of them so I look around the room trying to find if he is referring to something else & not really cussing & sure enough , he was in fact looking at a toy frog. I gave up a big sigh & gave him a tight hug. I know my sweet little angle cannot be uttering those awful words!!

My daughter is also broadening her language & vocabulary ( I thought about writing this after reading Geri’s new posting about teaching kids tagalog). Princess is very proud to tell everyone that she can speak Spanish that you’d think she can be a translator for me whenever I am mistaken as Hispanic ( gracias) . The truth is , she only knows a few words in Spanish but I don’t have the heart to embarrassed her ( worrying that one Hispanic kid might take her up for it ) so I would just gingerly tell her “ yes sweetie , you know quite a few Spanish words BUT you still have to learn more so you must study even harder”.

Recently she is also getting interested in learning tagalog. To my surprise she asked me how to say “ Thank You” in tagalog. I smiled secretly in my heart. What a smart kid. I thought that I would have to bribe her one day to learn my language . I didn’t think she’d be interested this early . It’s funny coz she would even ask me to sing a Filipino song so with much gusto I sang to her the very first song that my mother taught me when I was her age “ Bato sa Buhangin” I would have sang to her another tagalog song till she asked me to translate it in English ( sigh!! I don’t think I have enough patience for that. Maybe someday).

Shinjo is now 3 & he goes to pre-school 3x a week. He loves it I can tell & it’s been so beneficial to him esp. the interactions w/ kids of his age level. Being a new immigrant to this country , it’s been always & almost very rare for my kids to have an opportunity to play & be around other kids. Now he is so much sociable & just blossoming into toddler hood.

When I was 6 I remember that my favorite toys are dolls or tea sets, but not my little girl.
Her fascinations are dinosaurs & portable game ( Leapfrog game computer but she just found out that Nintendo is so much cooler..) . We go to the community library & she would get nothing but books about dinosaur & I have to deal w/ reading to her & struggling w/ the difficult pronunciations of these prehistoric animals. One time, I didn’t notice that one of the books we got was about Dino Dung (a book about all kinds of dino poop) .

Kids, sometimes I can’t wait for them to have their own drivers license but then again , who would mommy read dino poops book to or would Shinjo still gives me hugs infront of other people. I don’t think so….so for now I’ll just enjoy their youth & dependency. They are mommy’s true joy & happiness. They are all I need to cure my blues away.

Went Nuts W/ The color Pen

He Loves Books Too

With her classmate Maxine.She's half Japanese half Pinoy.

New Hair Cut. Mommy is getting better w/ the clippers

Saturday, May 12, 2007

It's May

Time to celebrate Mother's Day .

The things that mother's do...we deserve not only a celebration once a year but every day.
I got 2 kids but it's feels like one football team.
I have nothing but admiration to those women who were able to raise more than 2 kids...coz frankly , it's more than I could handle. I can't remember when's the last time I finished a book , a novel or even the Sunday newspaper. But ask me how many children's book I've read coz I got a long list for yah.

Motherhood.....exhausting .....but even so....it's the most rewarding. Just wait till you hear your little kiddo call you in their most sweetest voice ( even though at most times, they did something bad & they are tryin to get your symphaty) . Waking up in ungodly hour to just a slight cry or weird noise in the kids' room. Heck , when I was a teenager my mom would almost spalsh cold water on me just to wake me up hahhahaa..and she said to me " there will be earthquake, fire, war..& you still wont wake up". Kinda miss those days sometimes. Hmmm.... children.....they are a full time job...but also your most valuable & life changing experience.

To all the mothers , Salute!!!


May is also our Wedding Anniversary.

It's been 5 years and it's been good, can't complain really.
Lots of things happened , some good , some bad , but mostly good
and the bads only made our marriage stronger & deeper.
Along w/ the kids...our relationship has s also grown into maturity & more understanding.
Like we don't have to explain to each other anymore why the dinner isn't ready yet, or if we forgot certain appoinments.....just w/ one look & we know why....mutual understanding...I think it's very important. Saves you time arguing & who should sleep in the couch..lols.
All I wish for our wedding anniversary is........more....more of our love , more of our trust , more of our understanding........just a little bit more & every year.....and I think we will last....for a lifetime.
and May is the month I was born.

At 30 something...I'm thankful how my life turned out.
I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.
I don't have anything to wish for ...'cept for a brand new BMW suv, a nice house in Skyline next to those.hhhmmmm...what do they cll them now???? ahh,....luxury homes...hhaaahaaa...,maybe a vacation , on a caribbean cruise or Europe in autum wont be too bad.....nothing too glamourous.....just that....hahahhahaha...hey I was told that if you dream, aim high.

Seriously , my birthday wish is to always be healthy & strong for my kids , in good shape & good mood for my husband *wink* and just peace to all man kind ...,that's all.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

If I Had My Life To Live Over

If I Had My Life To Live Over
by Erma Bombeck

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy,
I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back